Well today, I got this BURST of mental energy (that's just something I made up). And I think I came up with solutions to 3 of my problems. I thought up a workout plan (in ADDITION to beginning to eat better), I called up a therapist to get that whole POSITIVE attitude change thing started, and I WAS actually positive about something today. His phone got cut off and I have NO way to get in touch with him except when he's online which I don't know when that will be again cuz he also doesn't have his internet on right now...So my positive reaction to this, after I panicked, was that...the time will come. It will eventually get turned back on. It's not like I will NEVER talk to him again.
"The time will come" has been a saying that I have been trying to instill in myself for the past few months. I tend to be very impatient, especially when it comes to things I'm excited about. So I have to keep saying to myself, "the time will come...it IS coming."
For example, I just realized that I am ACTUALLY graduating in exactly 4 months (from today). Not only am I excited about THAT, but I'm excited about the things that come along with it, such as my graduation party that I'M planning...all by myself because I want to be an event planner so I figured why not start with my own party? And it's gonna be FABULOUS! And graduation also brings me moving the HELL out of Richmond. And although I won't be moving back to my beloved NY right now, I'm still pretty ok with where I'm going. There are a few factors deterring me from making a concrete decision but...I think it's gonna work out.
So my goal is to lose 40 pounds in 4 months. I wanna look GREAT for graduation and for my party. This is a big thing...me graduating COLLEGE. Because I'm gonna be the first in my fam...out of ALL of my cousins (and there's alot of them) and my siblings (duh cuz I'm the oldest lol). I would have been the second if my cousin hadn't dropped out in his junior year. I'm really excited yet really scared at the same time. Scared of real life...I don't do so well right now without the help of my parents and the excuse "I'm a student"...so I'm not sure how well I'm gonna do with NONE of that...
Speaking of being scared of not doing well, I start my internship on Friday. I'm SO nervous. I'm not all that great at public relations. In my classes, I just sort of fly by and bullshit. But this is gonna be a real life setting...no help, no babying, nothing...just ME, on my own...I hope I will do well tho...I think I will.
On that note...I'm going to bed.
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