Yes...It's been a while

Well what's been going on with me?

LOTS!

My life right now...is kind of in shambles. I quit my dead end job because I just COULDN'T handle it anymore. How sad is it that I would rather be broke and destitute than getting paid $10 an hour and being treated like crap? yes...it was THAT bad...

The relationship...I don't even know what's going on there...I just left from spending a few days with him. A few GREAT days...and then once I got back home, everything went downhill. And for the past few days, I have been constantly feeling like he wants more...or better. And like he's possibly already found it. And honestly, I give up. I don't know what more I can do to keep this man interested in me. I've done ALL I can and it's not enough...

The homefront...Well last night my mother and I got into a huge argument...mainly because she was upset that I didn't tell her why me and him were arguing. So she went off on this tangent about how I'm nothing and I'm failing school (which is totally NOT the case) because all I can focus on is him...and how I'm throwing my life away by moving down there to be with him instead of basically staying in the dead-end ass town or moving back to NY with NO money and no career...Basically alot of things she said were contradictory and out of anger because the night before the argument, she was commending me for doing so well in school because she heard my school was really hard. And she even went as far as to compare me to my cousin and his baby's mother because they are REALLY dead-beats. And I PRAY that that comparison was really made out of anger...because seriously...ugh. I have no words...

Right now, I'm just really frustrated with life. I feel like I have no hold on things. I can't get to the bottom of most of my problems leaving me with this feeling of "unresolvedness"...And it's really starting to take it's toll on me. And no one cares. Everyone thinks I'm over-exaggerating and no one seems to be taking me seriously...which is making it worse...

I really can't even type anymore because I know no one reads this...so it's pointless...